Tuesday, July 06, 2010
I thought I was going to be single forever!
This may or may not surprise you but I've known Becka for a couple of years. I met her back at a home bible study that I visited frequently (and eventually taught at a few times). I remember when she walked in the door and I remember a lot about that first night. We hit it off and we hung out together that night (as a group) and talked about Star Wars among other things. A few weeks went by and we started hanging out with each other in groups and talking/texting with each other. We went on a few group dates with friends and we had a blast. I really enjoyed being with her and she really enjoyed being with me. Unfortunately, some random things happened between us like me being dumb about certain things and her feeling she was too spiritually immature at the time for a relationship so we decided to be friends and actually be friends (instead of that awkward pink elephant in the room to each other).
So for the majority of the past two years (this is my side of the story, ask Becka for hers lol). We have just been friends from a distance and have not had a ton of interaction together except in passing. I wasn't sure but about a year after us not dating I started picking up random signals that she might still like me. She always seemed to give me extra attention when I was around, like on Halloween 2009. On News Years Eve 2009/2010 Becka basically asked me out (to go to a party) but I decided to go to Allison's and hang out there with all my friends from Activate. I stood her up. I felt bad about it back then but I feel really bad about it now, lol. I'm not entirely sure why I was avoiding her, maybe I was too scared to enter into a relationship. (I don't like to enter relationships frequently or frivolously; she has been the only person I've dated ever since I broke up with Anastassia (my last girlfriend) since early 2007.)
So this sneaking suspicion that Becka liked me continued on throughout 2010. Becka had been going out witnessing with the Well group until they disintegrated and were no more. Then Becka started coming on Saturday nights, the nights that I am in charge of. Needless to say, I was suuuuper suspicious of her and her motives. I critiqued her every move and every word to try and discern why she was coming out witnessing with us now. As time went on it became more and more clear that she was coming out for the right reasons and not because of me. She would never give me special attention, she never asked or hinted to be put in my group (I never have), she never arrived early to hang out with me, she always left really soon after the night was over, she never even really talked to me unless I talked to her.
I never really stopped liking her. But the distance we created from 2 years ago made me forget about her and "us." So with her being involved with Saturdays and seeing her sometimes at Day7 made me rethink and start to remember those things again. One Friday after SWAT: Develop went out to LA to invite people to Pastor's Steve's new church I came back to my house where a surprise party was going on for Corey Todd. Becka was there, in fact she was the first person I saw when I came into my house. Should I go to bed since I am tired or should I go back out and socialize with people?
I decided to go back out and I hung out with some of the people at the party. I kind of gravitated towards Becka and a bunch of us were talking about lots of different things. I was enjoying the conversation we all were having, but I was thoroughly enjoying the time I got to spend with Becka. We all talked about all sorts of things and we laughed and had a great time. I went to go show her a video of something we were talking about on my phone and as we all leaned in (I was next to Becka of course) I stopped watching the video and started thinking. I was having an inner monologue moment and I realized that Becka had many of the qualities I was looking for in a future Wife/Mother/Helper. It was like a revelation and my eyes were opened. It was definitely strange.
Since then we have spent a lot of time together catching up on things. It feels like we've just picked up right where we left off. I'm really excited to see how the Lord will use the both of us together and our differing gifts to complement each other and fulfill our ministry.